Yeah, I know, you've heard it before and seen all the cheesy posts on social media. But there is a reason why gratitude is touted by a lot of wellness gurus. It's powerful. And if you are working to recover from an abusive relationship, any powerful help is a good thing, in my book.
So, what's all the fuss about gratitude helping us feel good? Well, there is a solid scientific principle behind it, called 'reciprocal inhibition'. What this means is that we can't feel two conflicting emotions at once. It's similar to the idea that we can't simultaneously flex two opposing muscles in our bodies. We can be happy or sad, angry or laughing, resentful or joyful, not both at the same time. So, if we can feel grateful, we won't be feeling all that negative stuff that comes as the result of emotional abuse.
This is not to say there isn't a time and a place for processing the difficult emotions we have. We should, and it is important to let the hurt be there, and to work through it. However, in order to really heal and move on to a positive life, also we need to let the good stuff in. And gratitude is great for that, because we can start small, even with the most insignificant details in our lives, and over time, they add up.
Appreciating the light on the window, a starry night, a hot coffee, a hug from a loved one, a smile from a stranger, a wagging tail, or a run on the beach. Noticing, appreciating, and being thankful for these things, no matter how small, give our brains and bodies a break from feeling all the hard emotions we have become so used to. And, slowly, little by little, these gratitude nuggets add up, and start new healthy pathways in our brain. It becomes easier to see the light and goodness around us. And if we've been around a narcissist for a while, we need that positivity.
And one last shout out in favour of gratitude. Have you ever met a grateful narcissist? Me neither, and that is enough of a reason on it's own for me to try it. I do not want to be anything like they are, or have that negativity and darkness around me. I do not choose the Dark side. And gratitude is a pathway away from it.
Please be kind and gentle with yourselves as you process your experiences. Take it one day at a time, with hopefully a pearl or two of goodness to light your way.
Much love, Chess xxx
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